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While we’re on the subject of vetoing my dream outdoor garden venue, here’s a short list of the other rejected outdoor ceremony spots for more or less the same reasons.

  • Country Club [REJECTED] – We don’t play golf, nor are we (or our parents) members of a fancy country club resort. Although I hear they have great all-inclusive wedding packages, I just wasn’t keen on getting married in place that had no special significance for us whatsoever.

[Can you see ‘Tiger Woods’ in the ceremony backdrop? Classy.]

  • Beaches [REJECTED] – We’re not beach-loving people. Once and awhile is okay, but overall, we’re not into tanning, sand or sea water. Personally, I don’t like feeling sticky and dusty after a day at the beach.

[If you think about it, the Tiki lamps add a lot of style to this beach wedding.]

  • Backyard [REJECTED] – I love my backyard. It’s well manicured thanks to the efforts of my mom (creative director) and dad (gardener). Problem is, the capacity of our house maxes out at about 100 as long as not all 100 people are present at the same time. Plus, I really don’t like porter potties and shutter at the thought of having to rent them for any event I host.

[My theme, had I been a hunter and if my backyard was overrun by wildlife]

  • Open Field [REJECTED] – I’m from the countryside. It would be very easy to hold the wedding in my hometown, where I could pitch a tent on a patch of land and call it a day. This however would turn our nuptials into a destination wedding. (It’s only 2 hours away for most people, but I can already imagine guests raising a ruckus about the drive and getting a hotel). On top of that, there would be no authentic Chinese banquet, just served portions of the Panda Express party trays. The largest Chinese food establishment in the area is called Cathay House. We could seat maybe 100 guests in the banquet room in the back and some folks in the front of the restaurant. Not ideal.

[Looks about right. Nothing says a hometown wedding like a tracker getaway.]

  • Park [REJECTED] – When I think of a park wedding, the first thing that comes to mind is that episode of “My Name is Earl” when Joy marries the Crabman. In order to get a good spot, the Crabman needs to stake out a shady picnic table at 6AM that day. That episode cracked me up, and while I’m sure there’s a more formal reservation process, that’s image is not exactly what I want to associate with my wedding day.

[It was this episode that taught me what it means to have a redneck wedding.]

  • Any Nice Area Outside/Near the Restaurant [REJECTED] – I’ll admit it, this would have been a great way to save a lot of money (provided that the area outside the restaurant is a public area that isn’t a parking lot or the inside of a mall). Our restaurant actually is such a restaurant. It sits on the edge of a small peninsula overlooking San Francisco and there are trees and grass. It’s not a bad idea, it just has the same problems that got my outdoor vetoed – it’s outside.

[Wow, I have no words for this one. Just this face: 0_O]

So there you have it. Our wedding venue rejects. Next up, indoor venues…to be continued…